Loneliness

By /

Loneliness is the painful feeling that the connection you have with other people falls short of the connection you want. It isn’t the same as being alone: you can feel lonely in a full house, a marriage or a busy office, and be alone without feeling lonely. It’s common, and it isn’t a weakness.

Also called: feeling alone; feeling isolated. Social isolation is a different thing: having few relationships or little contact, which can be counted. Solitude is time alone that you choose.

This is a short definition. Our full guide, Loneliness: Why It Happens and How to Feel Less Alone, covers why it happens, what it does to health, and the steps that help.

Types

  • Emotional loneliness: missing one close bond, a best friend or a partner you can really talk to.
  • Social loneliness: having no group to go out with or share interests with.
  • Existential loneliness: feeling alone in a room full of people who know you.

Causes

Loneliness usually follows a change that pulls you away from the people who held you: a move for work or NYSC, relocating abroad, a bereavement or breakup, a job lost or done from home, illness, a new baby.

In Nigeria

WHO estimates about 1 in 6 people worldwide feel lonely. Two surveys asked Nigerians different questions, so their numbers differ: in a 2022 to 2023 Gallup and Meta poll, about 1 in 4 said they felt very or fairly lonely; in a 2023 to 2024 phone survey, 46% said they’d felt alone at some point in the past year. Big families and busy cities don’t rule it out.

Loneliness vs depression

Loneliness is a feeling, not a mental illness, but the two feed each other. Low mood or loss of interest most of the day, nearly every day, for two weeks or more points to depression, which needs treating in its own right.

When to get help

Loneliness is one of the things that raise the risk of suicidal thoughts. If you’ve started to feel people would be better off without you, call 112 (or 767 in Lagos), or Safe Place Nigeria on 0800 800 2000. The full list is on our helplines page.

If loneliness has lasted months or come with low mood or grief, talk to a therapist; therapy that works on the thoughts loneliness produces has the best evidence. You can book a licensed therapist on Mytherapist.ng for general mental health, or join a small group circle.

Read next

This entry is awaiting clinical review. It’s based on published research and health guidelines, and we’ll update it once a clinician has reviewed it.

List of terms

Scroll to Top